Innerpeace

I shouldn't be here typing this. I ought to be with tian now..and with the other soon-to-be medical students. The pain is really unbearable right now..i have to get over it by evening or else i'll go crazy. I shouldn't be calling him because one is hardly free during a camp but I can't help it. I am this close to be in medical school..why not meee. oh wait, haven't I given up on finding an answer..I believe I'm just as good as some of the people who are chosen. I won't give up.


My life is all screwed up and I don't know what to feel. Maybe I shall start reading on bioengineering. To have a boyfriend in Med makes things even worse..he would tell me how exciting things are in med sch everyday..and I admit I'm dying to know..but I'll definitely feel so bitter and upset hearing about a life which I cannot live..a school which I cannot go to.. Working at KK allows me to know about most of the scientific meetings going on..I really want to attend these scientific meetings with tian though I'm not taking medicine. There's this combined scientific meeting coming up in Sept, I don't think first year med students actually attend such stuff but I think Tian should. If I were a med student I would. It's always better to know more..though one might only manage to absorb only a little from the conference. Why am I talking about this..


(After lunch..which is about 3 hours later..)


I'm glad to say that I'm feeling so much better now..He called but hardly had time to speak to me..call was less than a minute long but I'm happy. Glad that he's enjoying himself i think..told me Julie is in his og (he knows her cos we saw her yesterday at PS area) but other than that he doesn't know anyone else. Glad at least he got into Med though I did not..he'll be a good doctor..I'll see to it haha. Anyway went bugis and did a little shopping during lunch time. I've decided to rekindle my passion for dance and will be attending jazz introductory lessons today and tomorrow hopefully. Not very excited about parting with my money but come to think about it..what is free in Singapore. Nothing. So no choice..to tone up and get my long-lost fit body..and to enjoy dancing cos it's so relaxing and just allows me to forget about all my worries..I hope the instructors at Studio Wu is good and that I'll learn fast and well. I have a secret wish which only tian knows..I don't aim to fufil it actually..It's just a driving force for me to part with my hard-earned money for dance.


I'm glad we talked about the problems that we might face in the near future when he's in med and I'm all the way at the opposite end of the uni. Many problems will arise cos of the rather sensitive me but I'm glad I voiced it out to him and he's emotionally prepared for it. I'm happy that at least he's in Med and I'm gonna make sure he cannot slack. Damn I don't think I should treat him like that.


I'm so poor I desperately need more tuition assignments or else my assets in the bank will just continue depleting. I only have half of what I should earn in total after working for more than 6 months in my bank. And I hardly buy anything..money mostly went to my food..hongkong trip..IPLs..hmm what else..I don't know..nvm.


I'm counting down to Friday!!! Oh..I'm crazy. I bought myself a nice pair of gym pants from Adidas for dance. 69 bucks. I think I'm crazy. Oh and it's the first time I use my lovely and cute UOB Mini. Feels good hahaha. Oh by the way, using Visa doesn't require a pin number, then why did UOB issue me a pin number with my mini? MichL please enlighten me! I forgot using such cards require you to sign on some receipt too..haha that guy hafta remind me.


I miss him so so much. I really think I think of him like almost every minute..