Just got back home from tian's, today had been a happy one.
Happy birthday Andrew~!!
haha there was the usual signature SO3G birthday bashes at swensens, and soon those people there will recognise us as the big barbaric group who's always there singing loud birthay songs!!haha my class has the coolest and funniest and nicest people who simply go all out to make someone's day. I'm really happy to have a class who cares and is simply so funky!!! oh oh and you know what, dedrick has dated down a historic day when all of us will come together once again after this year.
2 JAN 2014 EFFIEL TOWER 10 years later..so cool right!!! only my crazy class would do that la!! and i hope everyone's serious, because I am definitely going to be there to see everyone again. Oh and we are to bring our spouse and children along!! haha so cool!! This is great. We're going to remind one another every year.
Tse yang complimented on my essay today. He said my essay introduction was good. And that my first page was rather good. Wow. Do you know what that means to me? haha no one compliments my essays because I simply couldn't make the mark (ok la, people don't read my essays). Tse yang wanted to help me with my gp and to see what is wrong with my writing. This is the first time someone sincerely wants to help me with gp. I was embarassed to let tse yang read my essay but he did not give up insisting and told me that it's fine. I told him not to laugh. You know, what he did made me feel that i should be hopeful, because there is someone out there who thinks that i can do it. Tse yang seems to have faith in me and believes that I can do better and I can improve.I know it's just a few words but people rarely compliment me other than looks which are of insignificant use and tse yang's few words keep me hopeful and i am truely encouraged. Tse yang, I know I have been mean to you ever since last year but I'm sorry sometimes i do feel a little uncomfortable sitting beside you. and yet you never fail to encourage me and make me think that I can be good. I just wanna say thank you so much.
Sometimes I hope tian would encourage me this way too.
My classmates compliment me for being the one who takes charge of things and make decisions. Domineering? derek calls me COE. But i find it ironic how i suck at making small decisions like whether or not to study or to go out with class, study or meet tian..such decisions drive me crazy you know that. Today again, I was torn between studying and going out with the guys. I hate myself for being undecisive. I just told tian that I have decided not to meet him after my dinner with tony and baorong. I carn believe I am not going to meet him. I want to. But something tells me that i got to be firm this time and many more times to come. Studies gotta come first now. Anyway he'll be going out with his friends.
Time for final episode of nip tuck now..oh i think my hair is getting nicer and i'm liking it more n more as it grows longer. haha n my hair looks the best right after shower. why am i even saying all this!?
Thursday, August 12, 2004
hey hey..been out of action for quite a long while as my internet access was down.just went blog surfing for a little while which was like a hour - yea wasting time again..n enjoying ou de yang's songs. I think he's really good, nice sincere songs and i love his voice.Pam scolded me for downloading all his 10 songs from his album heh i'm sorry. Anyway life was been fine. Studying sessions after school were good. i wouldn't say it's very successful but i believe i do accomplish more in school than alone at home without any motivation from people like sarah and andrew haha. A lot of class bonding too i feel, especially in such times of stress and pressure, where my class will be studying together in the library and occasionally check on one another. This made studying happy and meaningful for me =)
This week has been a short one, and i would say that the national day holidays were great. Sad how time flies when you're having fun but oh well, the more we should treasure them. went to the parade with tian for the first time, rather nice though short, he doesn't sing but i do haha i love singing national day songs. But i found the new rap or remix version of "home" a little too awkward haha.Cheered when kit chan came on to deliver her beautiful original version. Then i went to tian's place for singapore idol. haha i would say it's rather good, farney and it's up to standard i guess. The typical reality tv show. You know sometimes i wonder, why do some people think they can sing. What gives them such confidence and faith in themselves? how come i lack that? my heart went out to some pple who didn't make it through, i could tell that some people really wanted it badly. but yet some others really cannot make it. haha quite hilarious. Tian really makes me very happy and relaxed in times like this when stress levels are high. But it'll only make me miss him even more when I am not with him. I can't spend much time with him anymore. Hope he understands.
Oh national day celebrations in school was damn fun!! ok i think it's just my class, but we just went crazy and were super on. As expected i was a vase during the soccer matches, haha but quite nice to be playing with the guys on court, and on court with shenS like raihan and co..haha so cool. ok nvm that's lame. oh oh n when it comes to singing national day songs, remember i love singing haha my class was probably the tootest j2 class who was jumping around and singing on top of our voices. i love my class haha so crazy and united and cute!! That was a really happy day. N the day out with mich jamie wilson and emelia was great too, although emelia was not really herself that day n i was quite worried but later we had some nice moments talking about practically everything and watched people walk down orchard road. Oh i think wilson n emelia were sick of me praising andrew's body and oh wilson got his fair share of praises too..he's really a nice woman's guy heh. Realised it's been a week since i talked to mich and jamie.
Anyway i was reading baorong's blog and it's so farney and weird that the top people in school are worried about their futures and worrying about not getting into their desired schools. sigh i want to let them know how well they're doing and they are the ones who'll end up in the top universities in us and uk. i understand that worrying is inevitable but somehow it makes people like me feel sad for myself. If these high-flying can-be-called-scholars people in school are worrying, what about people like me? hai
I envy all those who're at top universities in US and UK. I attend the talks to know more about the schools and to open my eyes to how outstanding these scholars are. and i am convinced that they are good. sigh I wanna be like them but it's genetically and financially unfeasible. yea delta G positive and entropy negative. These people are the onces who'll have high-paying and important jobs in society in the future, and they're the ones driving the economy and inventing things and improving our quality of living. Then what will i be doing in the future? Can i be of such importance to the society too? sigh..
I shouldn't think about all these for now. piano exam is around the corner and i am having a lot of trouble with my playing. Time to settle down to do some productive work to save myself. I think my mum thinks i'm stupid and hopeless. Reluctantly, i finally showed her my progress report and she was shocked and kept asking what heppened to me. I hoped i had an answer. Why do i get 26 for compre again and again? why such physics marks? why did i fail? i couldn't answer her. I don't know why my english standard is just so much lower than that of pam's and dedrick's or andrew's or sarah's or anyone else in class! Did they read a lot when they were young and hence build up a strong vocab foundation? I really cannot write like them. The level of english is like poles apart. why why why..i want to know why so that i know how to help my children in the future. I don't want my children to suffer and lose out like i did. sigh my mum simply insisted that i need biology and physics tuition. I stubbornly refused. sigh i'm screwed up. I want to think that i can do it, just like many others who do not need tuition to get As and Bs.
Do i have a guardian angel watching over me and blessing me?
sigh
This week has been a short one, and i would say that the national day holidays were great. Sad how time flies when you're having fun but oh well, the more we should treasure them. went to the parade with tian for the first time, rather nice though short, he doesn't sing but i do haha i love singing national day songs. But i found the new rap or remix version of "home" a little too awkward haha.Cheered when kit chan came on to deliver her beautiful original version. Then i went to tian's place for singapore idol. haha i would say it's rather good, farney and it's up to standard i guess. The typical reality tv show. You know sometimes i wonder, why do some people think they can sing. What gives them such confidence and faith in themselves? how come i lack that? my heart went out to some pple who didn't make it through, i could tell that some people really wanted it badly. but yet some others really cannot make it. haha quite hilarious. Tian really makes me very happy and relaxed in times like this when stress levels are high. But it'll only make me miss him even more when I am not with him. I can't spend much time with him anymore. Hope he understands.
Oh national day celebrations in school was damn fun!! ok i think it's just my class, but we just went crazy and were super on. As expected i was a vase during the soccer matches, haha but quite nice to be playing with the guys on court, and on court with shenS like raihan and co..haha so cool. ok nvm that's lame. oh oh n when it comes to singing national day songs, remember i love singing haha my class was probably the tootest j2 class who was jumping around and singing on top of our voices. i love my class haha so crazy and united and cute!! That was a really happy day. N the day out with mich jamie wilson and emelia was great too, although emelia was not really herself that day n i was quite worried but later we had some nice moments talking about practically everything and watched people walk down orchard road. Oh i think wilson n emelia were sick of me praising andrew's body and oh wilson got his fair share of praises too..he's really a nice woman's guy heh. Realised it's been a week since i talked to mich and jamie.
Anyway i was reading baorong's blog and it's so farney and weird that the top people in school are worried about their futures and worrying about not getting into their desired schools. sigh i want to let them know how well they're doing and they are the ones who'll end up in the top universities in us and uk. i understand that worrying is inevitable but somehow it makes people like me feel sad for myself. If these high-flying can-be-called-scholars people in school are worrying, what about people like me? hai
I envy all those who're at top universities in US and UK. I attend the talks to know more about the schools and to open my eyes to how outstanding these scholars are. and i am convinced that they are good. sigh I wanna be like them but it's genetically and financially unfeasible. yea delta G positive and entropy negative. These people are the onces who'll have high-paying and important jobs in society in the future, and they're the ones driving the economy and inventing things and improving our quality of living. Then what will i be doing in the future? Can i be of such importance to the society too? sigh..
I shouldn't think about all these for now. piano exam is around the corner and i am having a lot of trouble with my playing. Time to settle down to do some productive work to save myself. I think my mum thinks i'm stupid and hopeless. Reluctantly, i finally showed her my progress report and she was shocked and kept asking what heppened to me. I hoped i had an answer. Why do i get 26 for compre again and again? why such physics marks? why did i fail? i couldn't answer her. I don't know why my english standard is just so much lower than that of pam's and dedrick's or andrew's or sarah's or anyone else in class! Did they read a lot when they were young and hence build up a strong vocab foundation? I really cannot write like them. The level of english is like poles apart. why why why..i want to know why so that i know how to help my children in the future. I don't want my children to suffer and lose out like i did. sigh my mum simply insisted that i need biology and physics tuition. I stubbornly refused. sigh i'm screwed up. I want to think that i can do it, just like many others who do not need tuition to get As and Bs.
Do i have a guardian angel watching over me and blessing me?
sigh
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