I ought to give you credit for being the only guy who can make me so damn upset and miserable, for days. And you have to choose this period to do it. Right in the middle of my exams. Before I sleep and when I wake up in the morning, all I think of is you, and not my maths which I should be worrying about. And what about you? You only care about yourself and whether you get to go-kart or not.


Really, is it so hard to remember me and call me without me having to give you missed calls and smses to ask what you're doing ? Do you know how painful it is to be forgotten? Especially for me, a girl who's so damn blardi sensitive and hard to please right? Seriously, take it or leave it. I'm so tired of all this.

I miss you..




Just transferred these pictures from Tian's handphone, taken sometime back while Prince was still around Tian's place. Haiz I miss him walking around the house aimlessly, following us upstairs and downstairs and into the room so quietly and obediently, and especially his so super cute face and long hair..sooooo cuteeeee!!! Sadly, he has returned to his owner, and I'm just hoping that the owner's maid would quit so that the family has to sell Prince away because they cannot handle two dogs, and then Tian can buy Prince from them!!! Haha I'm crazy in love with this doggy. You know Prince, you're the first dog whom I actually dared to carry on my lap. Tian and my sisters know I've this thing about not wanting to go near dogs because I find their paws so so ticklish and I cannot take it on my bare legs and skin. So usually I just pat dogs and admire them from afar. But Prince was so irresistable and so amazingly tame and good natured (he doesn't bark much!! meaning so gentle and not aggressive which I like..), I was able to open up to him slowly. We even brought Prince to my house to let my sisters (who totally adores dogs) play with him! But Prince was so scared initially because of the new faces and overwhelming attention haha, just sat near the gate and did not dare to venture around my house. Took quite a while before my dad could coax him and Prince started following my dad. Gosh he's totally adorable.


Anyway Tian's mum and sis just returned from the salon, I have yet to see their hairdo. I'm so stressed la..must think of how to doll myself while struggling to study for tomorrow's paper. Like Michelle, I'm so screwed for this semester, I even lost the motivation to study, thinking how bad my results will be. Sigh I don't even dare to think. What's sad is that I studied much harder and am more consistent for this semester as compared to the last one. ...

Fighting On


Oh god. I'm feeling so ashamed of myself now. I'm like the last person on earth who needs help. I ought to shoot myself in the head. I just found out about Joan's condition from Azi's NUS-RGS email and reading her blog and Dawn's blog nearly put me to tears. I want to visit her one day, Michelle, go with me? I'm hoping that Dawn will let me go with her when she visits Joan. Though she might have forgotten who I am, all it matters is that I know her, and if there's nothing I can do to help her ease the pain and kill those evil cancer cells, the least I can do is to give her some love and encouragement.


If a girl whose body has been torn apart by illness can carry such strong faith with her, then what authority, do you and i have, to make selfish proclamations that life is too hard to carry on, that we want to give up, that we are sick of everything and everybody around us. - Dawn


She'll make it..because she has so much faith, because she has so many people who loves her very much..because she has God.

Help your Girlfriend


The above purple dress to Tian's grandmother's da shou at some hotel ballroom, yes or no? Ladies!! Some help here please!! Personally I think it's toooo simple but dear Tian insists that it's perfectly fine with some accessories. Would you wear something like this to a rather big birthday celebration with many adults who'd be all dressed up in glittery, tai tai clothes? (ok, maybe I'm exaggerating, but I really wouldn't know) Actually I haven't got much of a choice, and I don't have time to shop for a dress because I have to study for my exams next week. But still, I need some honest comments babes!! Oh and Celene dear, you're the only one other than Tian who had seen me in this dress, do you think it's fine/suitable for the occasion?


This is us, close up photo of the top part of my dress, with the beautiful You. As you can see, the dress is really just a simple cloth-like dress, I mean, simple material (cotton or what, normal tank top/shirt material)..yea. I have nothing much to say about it.


Helppp =( I'm so stressed..

I'm feeling sad after watching Desperate Housewives, because
1) All my favourite ladies' lives are getting more and more screwed up week after week!! I want them to be happy!! I don't want Desperate Housewives to be a dark and sad show!!
2) I know Grey's Anatomy is up next, and especially when they play Torn, with the beautiful voice of Natalie Imbruglia and showing snippets from Grey's, my heart always screams out "I WANT TO WATCH!!!"..but I can't.
3) It's back to the books.


Desperate Housewives, Lost, Grey's Anatomy, The Amazing Race, So You Think You Can Dance..I love. Short list huh, still, I don't have time to watch them. And because I don't have SCV Cable anymore, I'm missing out on Oprah, MTV etc etc, and I refrained from watching American Idol, OC..


I'm so deprived. Haha. And not forgetting that I used to have the luxury of time to enjoy Chinese, Jap, Korean dramas. Haizzzz..But my dear Michelle Ang, you better find some way to get hold of Desperate Housewives, Lost etc., or else you'd be more deprived than me!!! Trust me, you'll love them. Right Tian? heh =)

Then it rains..


I'm looking out of the window of Science lib, giving my eyes a break from an overdose of Physics formulae. I'm enjoying the view of the green leaves and the occasional yellow little butterflies fluttering around some yellow flowers on the trees. Few night ago I even watched the sunset from the library. The orange-red, purplish blue sky was so beautiful, and the view was enhanced somewhat by the shape of the clouds. Gorgeous, though the sun was not in sight.


I'm off for lunch break with Tian soon. Tian (and little Prince) never fail to make me smile every single day, and Tian is taking good care of me (but of course, he's so freee now), giving me everything that I need (especially at the expense of his mum's car petrol) and helping me to pull through this last leg of the race. Just 3 more weeks to the start of 3 months of freedom, wait for me!!!


Till then, I'm going to be studying so so hard, though I don't know what I'm studying for.

My heart is dead. My only ray of hope is gone. No, there is not even a single thing that I can hope for in life, not anymore. Hopes are useless, anyway. And having dreams and ambitions is only deceiving yourself, day by day.


Without any hopes and dreams, there is nothing very much left to live for anymore.



Life is just meaningless now.






Goodbye.

My darling is picking me up from school now for lunch at this very nice duck rice place somewhere near school, where KR is i think, somewhere behind NUS and on the very winding road to Pasir Panjang. Whee!! Actually I just wanted to see him. And I have to be back in school at 12 noon for Nation building lecture. =p

Loyal patrons of the Science lib


Mich and I are at the Science lib now, though we're sitting with different groups of friends, me with my engin guys and she with her science girls. Haha, you can see that engin is male-dominated and science is female-dominated. Anyway that's not the point, it's just cool to bump into close friends in school. Hi Mich!!! Oh no..she just walked over to tell me a bad news. Mich and I are both screwed..her social work is screwed, my nation building is screwed. Haiz..we're always in the same boat. Nvm, babe cheer up ok..we can do it!!!

Sniffing..


Bad news dear, your darling girlfriend is sick. And she's wasting Mother Earth's wood resources on clearing her mucus which doesn't seem to stop accumulating in her nasal cavity. I shall go to bed early tonight, again. Sigh.


I want to be Superwoman.