stressful nite after a fun..sweet day..too tired..juz wanna sleep now..came online to print some gp stuff..n blog a little to destress..he smiled at me today..saw another ice cream so many times today..haiya dun worry mich..sometimes i'm too stress n looking at good-looking pple helps me destress a little..but after a while..it's back to my reality..mugging life..got 3 ice creams altogether now..haha but two others are juz for display la..dun worry ah mich..n then interfac..wahhhh running up n down..organising the matches..getting the guys..thank god it's over..hope tml will be smoother..then dinner with tian at pizza hut..yes while gaining lotsa fat..we talked n laughed n i told him abt my eye candy n other cute guys in rj..haha sorry yur gf's so terrible..at least i'm honest n tan3 bai2..haha but i know yu wun get jealous or unhappy..after so many years yu know yu can trust me..i really treasured the time spent with him..so glad we met today..

how come there's so much homework suddenly~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! am i slacking too much???? when should i start studying for lecture tests????????? sheesh can someone pls give me an answer..okay i shall start a mugger club after IFG..mich muz join..jamie..haiya she wun join me..in library rather sit with yur "girl"fren than me..humph!!!! then mug in sch till 6.30 every day..reach home 7+..eat bathe..piano..start work at 9..hmmm...i'm *sure* i'm so disciplined..shucks..
hey twin..i need help to bake a cake..sheesh my mum got no time to help mi la~!! i die la..how to produce a cake by thurs..a small cookie more like it..n i haven got his present yet..oh great..god help me..

damn!!! PW!!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaAaAahHhHhHhHhH!!!!!!!!!!!!! student feedback form!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! juz kill me man./

an unthinkable thing happened..we lost an old fren..i dun know her personally,but i see her in action in rgs..as e psl chairperson..n as this small..bubbly n cheerful senior. many wept for her yesterday in sch after we got the news. her classmates..her og mates..n her fellow councillors..everyone..really couldn't accept the news..but when it finally settled in me..i was really moody n carn stop thinking about her..even till now..

i thot..what exactly happened? y would she have done it..a young 18 year old..she has only lived less than a quarter of her life..bright future awaits her..what could have drove her to desperation n sadness n giving up..she's only 18!!! n then i think..n think..pple do have suicidal thots..i do..when many things gets out of hands..n yu find yurself juz sinking deep into the wide ocean..and yu carn seem to help yurself up..no one else seem to be able to help too..there's juz too many things to do..to settle..n yu seem to lose yur direction in life..yes..those thots..but no one has the courage to really relieve ourselves of all the pain that we suffer in life..to end everything..

the whole sch was really quiet on friday..corridoors..canteen..classrooms..it scared me..the teachers did a good job being composed n helping us to forget what juz happened..n to continue with our normal lives..everything after sch was cancelled..no interfac games..n it was the first time the after-sch-canteen is not crowded n noisy..there was quietness.. i went home..once again took out my precious rgs year books..n i saw her..gosh i carn accept reality..n guess i'm not gonna accept it till i see her at the church..but sadly circumstances forbid me to do so. yu know..she's a really sweet-looking girl..i juz stared at her picture..body solidified..

what could have been going through her mind that nite..above her pain..i'm sure all her frens..her family..n teachers all came to mind..i'm sure she would have considered that living is worth it with so many pple loving her..caring for her..so why why why..did she choose the other path in the end..n how deep was the ocean that she fell into..was it really so deep that she could trap water to keep herself afloat? was there really no lighthouses? no fishing boats or ships to save her? there was really nothing she could do? but why..

dear father..bless the world..bless her frens and bless her high above..taking away innocent lives is a sin..but she has her own reasons..n maybe there's no way out..May she be happier now..having been fred from all the stranggles in her life..and may her family n close frens be brave n overcome this lost together..to all those out there who have suicidal thots..always remember the people arnd yu who loves yu n care for yu..n cherish them..n know that there's a reason why god created each n everyone of us..n it is to work our mind n strength as we go through the ups n downs..through the thorns so as to reach the roses..to become better, stronger [eople..oh no..i sux at expressing myself..thanks to my poor english..only i know what i mean..nvm..I pray for the courage in everyone of us to face the increasingly tough journey of life optimistically and to overcome all obstacles along the way.. Amen

Live for all the beautiful things n pple in life..live for the beautiful you..live for the challenges ahead..
looking at my brother who's running into my room now..i'll never give up my beautiful family..my everdearest frens..n e most wonderful guy in my life..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAREST MICHELLE~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
heh yea that was what all the commotion in the canteen was abt..the beautiful, delicious prima deli cake..wasted on cake fights..n all the photo-taking..wah i went home with betty n bx smelling of vanilla cake la~!! jamie, betty, bx, br, yingheng, tony, jega, mich n i..coming tog on this special day to show our love n appreciation to our dearest sister michelle~!! there were many beautiful surprises today..first the beautiful wallet..(yes she loved it~!!!)..then bx n betty..then the cake..n finale..jega~!! haha glad she was really happy n touched..n i totally enjoyed myself too~!!! a nice get-together..like rgs times..but in rj canteen..haha n photo-taking..i pray tt the photos turn out well..i simply love photos..n always end up laughing to myself when i flip through my beautiful albums..heh once again..happy birthday dear..n i was quite paiseh when i saw hwee ying's present to mich..it's more ex definitely..n jamie n i gave her a wallet only..though we spent more than usual..considering our years of frenship..quite paiseh but hope mich din mind..years of frenship is not measured by money rite..

hey betty betty..attracted by the cute guys in rj..even our stamford raffles la~!! took a pic with him..haha aniwae she pointed out a few guys..whom i think are good looking at first sight..but after a while..nth much..instead..find more flaws..haha she din think my eye candy was special..say too short..haha dun think she saw his face clearly but nvm..not betty's type eh? haha instead she was interested in the guy who went home with him..hmm tt softballer..second-intaker..yea la first time saw him at hcjc orientation..busy flirting away la~!!! tsk..quite cool n attention grabbing at first..but nah..so beng~!! pull his blardi pants so low for wad..always see him in sch pulling his pants down..till e belt shows..it's practically below his butt la~!!! aniwae my eye candy is of a higher standard than tt la..haiz his kind is cheap thrills heh okay i think i'm damn mean..

rock-climbing~!!! hey i tried the difficulty climb today..n i tell yu it's not difficult..it's blardi difficult okay/~!!!!!! i really wanted to give up though i was so near to the ending pt..hello there was nth i could grab..my both hands were trembling..fingers numb from all that gripping n grabbing..luckily my legs were strong enough to push me up n i made it to the top~!!!!!!!!!! that was such an accomplishment okay~!!! i'm proud of myself..i din give up..n i did it~!! oh..really wanna thank mich n jamie n vania n that sweet girl..dunno her name..if they weren't there to direct me n cheer me on..i doubt i could have reach the top..thanks man..

hmm wonder how come some pple can look so good everyday..only few pple does..they juz look the same everyday..everything in place..n look good~!! not like me..it's either bad hair day..or bad eyes day..or pale lips or juz a lifeless face..haha..
today veh happening day..i dun feel like doing work..but nah..shall touch a bit la..shucks too late to practise piano..shucks shucks

opening ceremony for interfac games..gosh pam they all look so cute in those harry potter costumes haha so sweet man..veh good job..n i wanna congratulate them for all the effort they've put in..well it was definitely a big bash~!! cheerleading was cool n pretty..real farney acts by the guys..haha but can see their effort to participate n to try to look good with the girls..med ruled the court eventually..i really hafta admit amanda is simply shen..costumes..style..moves..stunts..she does everything so well..n med was really composed n continue their dance despite the very helpful defective sound system..many emotions felt as i watched them from afar enjoying themselves, doing their thing..could i have been one of them if i went for the tryouts? i want to learn the dance..be one of them..n perform..n juz dance to the music..n enjoy..man i'm so silly..it's already over la..no more chance..yu stu[pid woman..

sigh..i love dancing..but carn..

after opening ceremony..went rockclimbing with baorong n fiona..haha totally kool~!! k first it was the farney shoes that totally did not fit the contours of my little feet..n next i haven rockclimbed for more than 1 year..damn is it tiring or wad..k i think i'm juz unfit..but hey i made it all the way up smoothly man~!!! quite happy with myself..gonna try another route tml n wanna time myself..haha rockclimbing is so fun n challenging lo..legs n hands both hafta be real strong..lalalala oh..n tml there's tennis interfac..hahaha dun care le..i never play tennis for 1 year already la~!! i'll juz go there..hit the balls out of the courts n lose..heh anywae i still prefer badminton..love it love it love it~!!! --more than squash too haha

after tt..went orchard to shop for mich's present ALONE..wonder why hor jamie..aniwae i drank strawberry yogurt at roibo's ALONE..walked all the way to pacific plaza ALONE n yeap..visited stussy..heh got this funky thing that we wanna get for mich but it's beige..green dots..haha mich will juz scream at the sight of it n will never use it..next stop..ripcurl..hey a lot of that thing lo..new designs..but not outstanding..last level..ROXY~!!! haha oh cos i look at clothes first..then at this display..i saw the one..black..with shells and beads sewn on a corner of it..roxy logo on the flap..i tell yu it was love at first sight k..hey mich i so wanted it for myself..k personally i love it..but i gotta walk up n down the shop for more than 10 rounds..considering if mich will like it as much as i do..if mich would prefer this to the esprit one i saw originally..think n think n think..of cos psychoing myself tt mich will like it..haha i bought it..n i'm feeling scared now..juz carn wait to see her expression tml when she receives it..hope she likes it..

before going home..i carn resisit the urge to drop by Mango again..n ahhhhhhh!!! new arrivals~!! new season's colour is purple n pink n white..i tell yu i love all the new arrivals k..no matter how unusual they look..haiz mango so totally rock~ then i saw them..this purple sequines toga top..this white long sleeves off-shoulders with studded words..this white toga..netted sleeve..i din try them on..but i bet i'll look stunning in them lo~!!! ahhhh damn nice damn nice..but but but..each cost 50 above..cheapest 45 i think..this money is small thing to celene n e other girls lo..but man i wonder how i'm gonna afford them..maybe one top a mth..every week i save 10 bucks???? HAHAHA i'm sure jessica lee can save money..rite jamie..i sux la..dunno where all my money go to also..it juz disappears..shopping is really saddening for this poor shopping princess..only can admire clothes from afar..try them on n marvel at how beautiful it looks on me..but seldom bring them home with me..sad sad.. nvm i'm fated not to be well-off.

hmm where yu disappear to everyday huh? suddenly yu will disappear form lectures..meaning pon..then suddenly appear at the canteen in e middle of e day..man dun tell me yu hide in the library to mug during useless lessons..haha n monday someone happily gave himself a holiday..

going off to bathe..i was so relieved when i finally handed in my pw file today..guess e way to survive is to keep encouraging myself to go on..

Dear blog..surprise surprise..yur lady pig is actually wide awake at this disgusting time in the morning..working real hard on her project work~!!! so hardworking..yea..n dun worry i'll go get my well-deserved sleep soon..to prepare for tml's bio lecture and 5 block long GP~!!! ewww disgusting..okay nvm..wanted to let yu know i've been real busy these few days..all the squash n pw stuff clogging up my brain..i was really upset with myself today..not being able to concentrate during lectures..i think nth from chem lecture went into my head..n i was dozing off..hate myself for doing tt..haiz now gotta spend more time reading through the notes again..cried a little at the canteen today..guess it was an overload of stress..+++ so many things to worry abt..sometimes i feel like giving up..during maths lecture i was thinking..how good if i were dead..nvm now everything is fine..i'm fine too..eating a small layer cake for supper..mich's bday in 2 days time..n again i'm organising a bash for her..but haven contact my khakis yet..sheesh

hey twin..how do yu usually celebrate yur bday? mine's quite sad yu noe..it's either stuck in between exams..or cos it's in the hols..so no one remembers..no one celebrates n sing bday songs to me in class..no presents..okay every year definitely got 2..but tt's not the point..sometimes i wonder all e effort that i put into organising stuff for my gang's bdays ever gone to waste..i crack my brain to make them happy..n destroy my brain cells while choosing the best gift for them without burning a hole in my pocket..but in the end i seem to be forgotten..
nvm..doesn't matter..i think every year is special..like last yr..1st present from tony n this vj guy from maths class..they were really sweet..with the Me to You bears..heh totally love those grey bears..

k i better get into bed..before those dark rings appear beneath my already bad-looking eyes..n before pimples n wadeva starts erupting due to lack of sleep..nite bears..

okay..this yr's colour is purple..not as nice as last yr's one..quite plain..plain purple throughout..but nvm..i'm thankful to my neighbour for lending it to me..hmm mich gonna stand out on monday..juz looked through my photos..the red n yellow sari's really striking..haha she'll look stunning..

i sinned again..brought my mum n baby darling all the way to swensens juz to eat a sundae but of cos end up eating the new fish n salad meal too..so-so only..quite small portion too..aniwae i know i'm damn ill-disciplined n undecisive n i sux!!! but if i dun LOOK fat..quess it's alrite to treat myself well..like what my sis said..we dunno how long we'll live..if i die tml..in the midst of a diet..i'll leave the world as a pitiful n pathetic soul who missed out on all the good food..n i'll regret not savouring my one last sundae from swensens before i leave..heh..so conclusion..juz eat la~!!! haiz..i look up to tracy n derrick..so disciplined..so vain..haha but tt's nth bad..everytime during pe..e girls will sit in a circle close tog..n everytime i see tracy's pair of slender, toned bronze legs..i'll juz sigh to myself..n blame myself for making my legs big..arms flabby (a bit)..n tummy bulging..oh..n a fatty butt..
pls..do not comment on what i juz said..i'm juz revealing my emotions n feelings to my trusty blog..which is forever patient n tolerant towards my nonsensical grumblings..

hey guys..what do yu all like to get on yur bdays? pls help me out..give me ideas of presents suitable for a guy..sth special..unique..touching..n uncle heng..when's yur bday?
my sis bought a miniature guitar from a road side store at meridien today for a girlfren..i fell in love with it when i saw it..thot it was totally suitable n stylish for tony who's leaving..too bad the stall only opens on every sat..man i want it for myself too~!! sheesh..i dunno what to give tony as a farewell gift..july is a go-broke-mth..n jamie~!! we haven got mich's present yet..how how..moday i'm having piano lesson carn go out..yu have cheerleading every evening too..how like tt..nvm i'll try to find sth tml..

SHIT MY SISTER MET A FLASHER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
man gross gross gross gross..wad's wrong with men~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! know what she said..he's ahem was sticking out of his black pants..hence it contrasts..yu know..skin colour n black pants..so damn obvious..then he was holding a plasitc bag..covering his thing..n was swinging it ..meaning..showing n not showing his thing..aniwae my sis happened to be the only one who saw tt perverted gross man..he was leaning against the railings outside her sch..n when my sis was looking in his direction..he swung the plasitc bag more vigorously~!!!!!!!!!!!!!..okay.." it was long, dangling..huge..swollen..like an infected penis..man bet he got AIDS~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh grosssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yuck yuck yuck..man actually the man is a timid stupid old dirty man..stupid dick head..wanna show juz stand there with his pants off la~!!!! use plasitc bag n cover sometimes for wad....lousy man..yuck oh man this is unbelieveable...better tell tracy to warn her sis..my sis gonna bring her mini baseball bat to school now..next time tt blardi guy appear again..she's gonna wack his thing..
i'm glad she's not traumatised or sth..i am..or at least..i'm feeling quite..hmm..carn imagine if i was the one who saw it..okay..better prepare myself..i shall walk up to him looking cool..then kick his thing n walk away..then turn back again..saying sth like..a little too small eh..this kind of quality still show off..hah okay..
actually i think i'll juz freak out n not say a thing for an hour..
but come to think abt it..i see my bro's so many times le..maybe tt's y my sis not tt affected..ahhh..

man..life's so exciting..
today went little india with clarabelle n xin yee after sch..xinyee had to look for sth to wear for racial harmony day..i'm really scared we'll look out of place but lucky whole class wearing..i know the whole sch will be looking n staring n laughing their heads off at us..cos almost no one will be wearing ethnic costumes except my class..but nvm..it's nice to see the class bonded for once..wonder what colour of sari i'll be wearing this yr..i loved last yr's shade of dark blue-black..ohh..n thank god mich's wearing too..haiz why's rj so boring..i miss rgs..all the photo-taking..make-up session in the toilet nearest to my class..n the food..performance..n best of all..no sch~!!! haiz~

lalala..lalalalala..i'm singing jay chou's song..while doing physics tutorial..
hmm..i din see him today at all..

i'm feeling drained..suddenly..dunno why..played piano for abt half hours n a devil in my small head told me to stop..really dun wan to but i din have motivation to continue..i'm upset with myself..thought it'll be a happy nite again..

cos today was a new episode in my life..due to 2 happenings..
first time i spoke to him..was only expecting to hear his first few lines like end of the year or next yr..i mean din expect to talk to him so soon..fine it wasn't talk..juz greetings..still..cos he's forever looking dao n cool..n me forever keeping quiet..sorry i'm not e typical rj ger who approaches guys n say hi..=p juz not tt thick-skinned n flirty? nvm..anywae i was really worried i hurt him or sth..i din think guys were tt sensitive..but remembered he's a sensitive new age guy man..hmm aniwae i was sincere in my apologies lo..scared he's pissed n unhappy or wad..but in e end he's juz making fun of me ah..

i got BOB..physics was really unexpected..really really..never got such a pleasant surprise for so so long..ever since primary sch..when i got A* for english..aniwae i din know how to react..lost n couldn't be too happy cos others din do well..nearly cried cos of pam n sarah..tensions were high today during practical..oh amamda n sarah n i are called charlie's angels in our class..haha..aniwae i know i've really worked hard for this surprise..i exhausted every dynamics, ideal gases, circular motion, forces and linear mom...questions Dr Chan gave since april..for the 280 i pay every mth..i juz had to do well for physics..i know tt's daylight robbery but mum i'm sorry yur daughter is not as smart as jw or baorong..baorong n siewling are amazing..i dunno how to say..but their standard is far beyong my reach..how come i'm not as smart as them? why do i need tuition from a money-sucking smart successful physics tutor..br laughed when i told her i expected an E for physics n say of cos not la..but why not..i can get an O for chem..y not another O..see..that's how different our standards are..B is not good to Tse yang n Br..haiz..

i wun take chem tuition..i dun believe i carn get a C for promos..for doing tutorials on time..for listening during lectures..for practising so many past year questions..for the interest in the subject n my sheer hard work..haiz..O to C is quite a far jump..nvm i'll practise jumping more..

i'm really tired..like totally drained..but it;'s only 10.40..sorry tian..i had been talking to yu for the past few nites sounding like a corpse or zombie..no life at all in my voice..nothing much to say..n made yu worried..sorry..but thanks for understanding..thanks a lot for always being there..remember to catch me if i collaspe one day k..sheesh yu wun be in sch..

jamie..congrats..yur new episode in life too..finally yu're doing sth yu really wanted to do n sth yu like so much..yur soul sister here is envious..jealous..sorry but good for yu..everyone likes yu..yu made a lot of good frens n dancing away under the moonlight almost every day..glad yu're happy..

now when will i be happy..

hey celene..sorry i din tell yu abt my blog working again..din really wanna spread n let the world world know..i scared history repeats itself..nvm..aniwae hi~!! one happy girl eh..yu n ai mei..hugging n smiling away abt sngs' wins today..

hey dude..it's not abt yur shirt or hair or wad..haha ya hair played a little part..haha okay juz the feeling yu gave me..n ya jianwei's gay..but he only looks gay..like how yu only look beng..haha relax la..oh yur hair texture or wad is bad? hmm..issit? no wad..jw's one a little curly rite..or sth like tt..oh ya..today's gp video was so informative n nice n farney n touching..haha but someone was sleeping away..tsk =P okay yu only slept for a while..
n jamie..since when am i obsessed with jw..look WHO's talking..rite mich..if i keep talking abt him for the whole week..then i'm really obsessed..yu know how i am when i'm obsessed with someone wad..pls lo..right now..i'm only obsessed with my little bro~!! gonna train him to have a body like andrew's..n his brain like andrew's too~!!

it was really nice today seeing huiping n baoxin n betty..although we couldn't meet up all at once..but still..huiping looks good..her beautiful earrings we bought for her..n hair pinned up..bx still as usual..slacking during trainings..but still the same old sweet n funky woman haha she ah..n met diyan n michael..those two never change..not getting down to earth to mug..still happy hours ah guys..tsk better start somewhere la..aniwae i miss my frens at hwa chong..thinking abt first three mths now..sighhh..but i'm enjoying myself in rj la..i'm fine~

track n field finals was a success~!! it din rain..weather was juz fine n cooling..i was sitting with jamie n mich very comfortably n had a great view of all the competitors..was cheering n clapping although was not as loud as councillors..hey at least there was sound coming out from my little mouth haha. during breaks jamie mich br n i will be gossiping n catching up..talking abt boyfren stuff n results..i talked too loudly n apparantly this guy beside jamie heard sth he shouldn't hear..n tt will cause my reputation if he's so big mouth n tell other pple..man i have faith in rj guys so man hope i wun be disappointed..aniwae i guess i need not worry what others think of me rite? as long as my frens know what sorta person i am truely..guess the others' opinion doesn't really matter. i wonder if there are some girls in rj who doesn't like me..hmm haiz nvm

okay rj girls performed well n got 2nd overall..guys dunno run to which position le..quite sad but oh well..we gotta face the fact that the other runners were like leopards..oh i was really impressed with meifang and hui en..think tt's her name..is she pro or wad~!! man the way she sprints across the track..the legs going in circular motion non-stop till the baton is in the next runner's hands safely..it's damn cool n wooowwww..i worship trackers man..track is the toughest cca to me..determination..discipline..n non-stop practise..they're so zai lo..*kowtow*
meifang is simply good la..excellent sports performance and good results..what more..

haha i got to know jianwei a teeny weeny bit more today..after being so thick-skinned n followed jamie n him to national stadium..then after tt made jamie n him go mango at suntec for a little while..after my observations..he's a nice guy i guess..dunno why nice but okay la..never talk much..he laughs at what i say..i'm so farney meh aniwae he has relly small eyes..so hard to see haha n i think jamie's bag look nice on him..guys look nice with tt bag leh..oh n he's not as beng as yiying..haha maybe he's juz more proper in front of girls? or me? haha

saw the photos from rjc gala dinner..haha i look fine..hair's messy..got red eye effect again..but on the whole..can pass. showed my mum..n again she picked on the dress n say i asted money cos i wun wear the dress animore..haiz she dun think long term la..
played with my baby brother again..i tell yu he's shuai la..n totally adorable n when yu look at him..yu juz wanna hug him damn tightly n kiss him n..oh well..juz by looking at him makes me happy all over..god's gift from heaven..
okay oe homework today..chemistry kinetics tutorial n off to bed~!! sheesh..must practise piano..n i haven had dinner yet..

i declare today..a happy day~!! veh long time never slack this long with jamie n mich le..hah jw extra. =P

Finished my work at 1 on e dot..juz wana thank the dearest guy in my life..for being so understanding with his very busy girlfren..sorry i couldn't talk to yu..sorry i sounded so tired n shagged..sorry i sounded so dead..i really have stuff to settle n carn find e energy to talk to yu in my usual "sweet" voice..haha i'm sure.
gd nite flowers.

I FINISHED MY GP ESSAY..I CARN BELIEVE MYSELF. what i need now is some beer to make me drunk n to destroy all my brain cells so that i dun have to tire my brain out this much ever again. oh ya i dun get drunk easily..hmm nvm i always feel so happy after completing such a major work..a gp essay. but today..i dunno why..maybe to think that there's another half-done chinese compo and squash stuff to do is causing me headache n i hate this. man i really hate my life..i'm always the one left to worry abt stuff..ipw..squash admin stuff..i carn stand it lo..there's so many things to do n i carn let others help me do them cos of one reason or another..really feel like using yiying's fav word now..nvm..i shall juz go AaAaAaAaArRrRrRrrRrggGGgGggggggggggggggggggGGGGGGGGGGGHhhhhhhhhhHhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
okay feel a teeny weeny bit better but like anyone cares la..okay gonna do squash sign-up sheet now..sorry blog..juz let me complain a little bit k..i love yu blog.

i wanted to sleep at 11.30 tonite cos this morning i couldn't rise..but now..it'll be 1 man..i'm becoming like pam..n i hate it..cos i need my sleep.

jamie i'm in the same boat as yu..drowning in the sea of gp..yeshhh i'm engaged in a gp essay now on censorship..wanna write it real well n score high..but too bad my language n skills r limiting me..aniwae one half hours have past n i've written two paragraphs~!!! wheee~ haha self-consoling now..it's okay i can finish by today!! adding fuel..in carbohydrate form..meaning..eating again..dun worry..it's bread..hmm..

"In love all of life's contradictions dissolve and disappear."
-- from celene's.. beautiful truth.

juz got home frm orchard..see jamie i was at orchard alone frm 4 to 6..man i can survive alone okay..though it was quite lonely to eat alone..but it's like..spending time with yourself..quite peaceful..spent the longest time with tinglin ever today..haha from listening compre exam till tuition..then went orchard tog..we talked abt everything under the sun..eye candies..cute guys..not-so-well-like girls..our own circle of frens..n boyfrens..haha girls juz like to talk n gossip..

gotta play piano tonite..n get my gp essay done..can i do it? i'm like how slack now..is tt expectation too high..haiz i better do sth about myself.. n know wad..i gobbled down two mac donalds meal today..breakfast..sausage mcmuffin with egg n hashbrown..lunch mc chicken n fries..i'm a total sinner..man i'm nuts n crazy!!!!!!! that's like totally fattening..oily..n wadeva bad..rite now..my stomach is bloated..really like expanded..making my skirt feel so tight now..n feeling my belly juz makes me want to kill myself..that's it man..no more fastfood till August..i gotta start disciplining myself or else it'll lead to self-destruction.

taking effect from today till August..no fast food..no meat n snacks n chocolate n ice cream..lunch n dinner at home..veggi fish soup rice. meals in school..sandwich..yong tao fu..rice with veg n fish allowed on thursdays only. exercise routine..tues n thurs n mondays..track.. at least 4 rounds..no 5 is better..okay that's it!
now with a beautiful n sure success plan..to myself.."pls do remember what yu said today.."

Typed a really long blog yesterday but computer went down even before i could publish it..too bad man..it was a horrible day..
aniwae i got a big fat circle for chemistry..e subject i mugged my ASS off n exhausted all the chem past year questions..haiz i'm juz stupid n not good enough i guess..i even bother reading through the notes n go through tutorials again..meaning i went through tutorials twice~!! daniel told me how he mugged for chem is to do tutorials..which i did long long ago..n he got a D..wad's my freaking problem..
pamela n sarah cried today..i did not..n i was proud of tt..hey dear..see i can control myself n learn to take things more easily..no more tears..no more bad moods..it'll be smiles..man but it's real hard..haiz to pam n sarah..e two beautiful ladies..let's save our tears for e end of the world okay..yu guys did fine..we're all in this shit together..we'll all get at least a C for promos okay!!! n now..let's juz focus n mug mug mug..

n tian..really wanna thank yu for always being there for me..thanks for worrying for me..n thanks for putting up with my horrible moods..but dun worry i'm much toned down now..growing up~!! i love yu dear

jamie called n reported her findings..another diaryland template site with templates that made her scream..haha i've chose one..trying to change my template now..it'll be a dark one..
tony's leaving on the 26th..tt's the worst day to leave..cos it's college day n every one will be in sch..so no one to send him off..hope baorong n i can successfully pon college day to send tony off..it'll be sad..sigh first fren who's leaving for good..to a far away place..man i've known tony for 4 years? plus plus..those sec 1 japanese classes..mrt rides home from bishan..minli intro-ed him to me..haha aniwae tony..thanks for being my fren..thanks for leading a listening ear..thanks for making my life this colourful..yu enjoy yurself in US alrite..

oh n i got a 3 for ao chinese..not tt bad la..considering my WoNdErfUl chinese standard..next wuld be physics n bio..dun even dare to think of what i'll get..guess it's more impt to decide what i'm gonna do with my life frm today on..spending every nite online like what i'm doign this week..or settle down to do some work..sheesh once yu slack it's hard to stop..i hate myself..to think tt i told Ms Teh i was disciplined..shameless man..*tsk*

for now..wishing my dear frens out there..a beautiful sweet nite..

Hi blog..i juz watched e news..n know wad i heard..e iran twins did not survive through the operation..i couldn't believe my ears..i stood rooted in front of the television..watching the medical pple from raffles hospital speak abt the operation..about how the urgeons have tried their best to save the twins..oh god yu juz took away two lives..are yu really that greedy? they were fine pple..happy n loved by lots..dear god..why did yu juz deprive them of more time..more time to see the world..to see the beauty yu created..i pray tt the twins had lived a wonderful fulfilling life..rest in peace..i guess now yu two are finally seperated..running around n smiling from high above..safe in god's arms..bless yu..amen.

gonna get back common test papers one by one this week..well it's gonna be traumatising..disastrous..n sad..but i'll remember wad tian n deborah said..tian told me never to cry..live with failure..n be brave like other pple out there who are much more worse off than we are..deborah said..have god in yur heart..seek peace n take tests as a learning experience..be glad tt yu gained knowledge through these tests..
thanks dears..n i miss the both of yu..

seriously..we these pathetic rj pple worrying day n night about common tests results..worrying abt getting the 4As n getting 160 for SAT..rite andrew? haha but out there..pple our age are worrying abt feeding their family cos they lost their parents n so on..man pple..we gotta do sth abt our lives n live a more meaningful one..show more love n care to others..smile even when yu get an O for exams..HMM..n always remember to thank yur creater..for giving yu this chance to live a beautiful life..reflections..

jamie's got a beautiful n cheerful n sweet blog..way to go babe~!
okay..i shall control myself n not freak over failing chinese..actually jamie..i think add compo marks to overall..i think i can get a C or even B4..nvm..i shall get on with life..

My brother is totally charming..e way he climbs up n down my bed..wearing tt new blue pyjamas with red n green printings..oh gosh..totally an angel..
okay i'm feeling totally psyched up now..i'm actually eager n excited abt school tml~!! yay i'll be going back to rj in tt totally hot uniform..busy listening to what e tutors have gotta say abt our horrible work that gave them nightmares..hmm they muz be puking blood n sweating frm head to toe marking those papers..aniwae oh n i'll seeing my beloved class that's sadly not tt bonded..n i'll be meeting my lovely angels mich n jamie..haha we three can make up charlie's angels~!! oh ya need to find a charlie..but no la..we three will be a disgrace to cameron diaz, lucy liu n drew barrymore..those women totally rock~!!!man did yu see how good n gorgeous n mesmerising n SEXY they looked in their every outfit..their bodies r totally..hmm..juz perfect..they're my idols man..n my motivation to exercise..run more..shake butt more..dance more..n juz have fun~
yeap..so tml gonna be e start of intensive exercising n working out to shed those kilos i happily put on during e hols..run run run..remember to encourage me when yu see me running on e track tml k..for a toned flab-free body~!!!!! aLL E wAyYyYyY jess!

damn..i remembered i have a chinese compo to write..n i gotta practise reading chinese for orals tml..okay tml isn't tt exciting after all..okay i'm right back into reality again..man i knew life sux all along..bye..off to improve my chinese so as to be a true blue hua ren~!! man i'm so proud to be a chinese..i'm sure.

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