last blog..august 16..today..31 august..wwooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww hmm wait..it's only a few weeks wad..chey~!!!! haha hmm let me see what was i up to man..dunno..mugging..catching up on tutorials..pw..1st draft..going out..shopping..movies..sleeping..yes that's important..n going out with frens..training..yeap..everything but not blogging..really have been ages since i last touched my com..tonight's ionic equilibria nite..but was thinking of my blog..felt like visiting to see if animore missed me or said hi..hmm..few pple..but nvm..at least there are some souls heh..n once i was at my blog..man my fingers juz itched..i have to blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha yes so here i am blogging..with nothing in mind to say..letting my mind so wild for once..dunno when will be my next blogging time..really..tian told me to start mugging for promos..i know i should n i'm trying..no joke man..i carn get an O for chem again..no wae..suddenly thought about last week's 3 lectures..yes that was what i've been busy about..busy mugging for them to get full marks..haha yes crazy psycho jess..hey but i'm supposed to get full marks for physics..yes yes talk talk..in the end..yu stupid complacent girl..din open your eyes big enough still go to sleep..missed out the radius of the earth n in end i threw 6 marks down the f drain..oh well..learn from your mistake..yes that's to comsole myself..haiz wadeva

tml's teachers' day..friday's teachers' day celebrations were way cool!!! first up eric lee singing with paul khoo..n e band..haha eric lee's totally E MAN!!! gosh did yu see the way he was crooning away??? with total expression and feelings in his songs?? gosh if he was my age..i'll juz fall for him man..okay okay..maybe juz a little crush..but gosh..tell yu..guys who can sing really will melt girls' hearts..but if yu carn..then dun try la huh..heh yes then were the dancers..oh cos amanda stole the show..to me at least..other guys may be drooling at weiqing or patricia..but girls like mi who knows what's dance could easily distinguish who's good n who's not as good..everyone knows amanda's the one..gosh it's simply the gift from god..the gift of dancing..she's born with it..
went back to pri sch in the afternoon..yes teachers were all glad to see us back..a lot of good news and bad ones from teachers..principal suck..teachers pregnant n getting married..some leaving..others still slogging n suffering..haiz that's life ain't it? ms beh's as busy as ever..rushed off for meeting n mdm foo, as always..asking how we are..giving invaluable advice..always like a mother to us..the class is so seperated..everyone met up..but sitting at seperate tables..oh well..nvm juz something between 2 gangs of girls..guys..never grow up..haha okay la..more mature le..though there's still some old traits n behaviour..haha yes everyone's in different jcs and polys now..totally different lives..wonder what we'll end up as in the future..

movies..shopping..going out..eating..all these have been keeping me alive..yes juz went for dim sum and sushi buffet at pacific plaza yesterday with tian..haha good food man..we ate n ate n i tell yu my belly totally expanded to the max..hmm never really think of getting fat..juz enjoy while i can man..what if i..okay nvm..choy..watching tale of two sisters tml..haha so damn excited okay..heard so much for sis n mich n others how good the show is..i know it's gonna be real freaky..sheesh..juz hope i dun get too affected by the show..the ring was quite traumatising..but after so many horror shows..maybe i've become braver..haha we shall see what happens after tml..the league of extraordinary gentleman was a fantastic show..wasn't that interested in it at first..but gosh it's so cool n hmm..i juz like the 7 of them..7?? yea should be..wow the ton sawyer is damn cute!!! okay carn wait to watch pirates of the carribean..same kind of show..n it's definitely gonna be good.. n ohhhhh...xiang4 zuo2 zou3 xiang4 you4 zou3..i finally saw the preview on tv..takeshi kaneshiro and gigi leung!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! man i screamed when i saw them on tv..n it's damn sweeet lo..read the book..n recalling gigi's and takeshi's previous show..wad's it called?>> erm..shucks juz carn seem to remember it..ohhh it's xing1 dong4..a damn touching n romantic show..ahhhh juz carn wait for it..

okay..so what's my mugging plan then?? dunno..dunno how to start..dunno where to start..maybe it's time for me to stop blogging n think about more serious things rather than fascinating here..haiz back to reality..

oh ya..nuriesya left for canada..n i carn believe i missed her..it's so drama..me taking cab and mrt n rushing down to changi airport early in the moring in fac shirt..n the end din make it in time..veh sad..it's like i forgot how she looks like already..thank god i've class pictures..man i din get to hear her voice even..sigh..take care nurie..all the best in UWC..gosh bright future awaits yu..

heh juz watched jerry maguire..it's so romantic n sweet n touching n gosh..tom cruise looked so good n so young in that show~!!!! he really aged..haiz that show is damn nice lo..the black couple's so loving..only makes yu fantasize about your future..yur future mate..hAIZ..okay dun think too far..think bout promos now man..haha toot toot toot..girls are always like that..minds wander a lot..

k it's good nite~!!!

Juz read betty's blog..i dunno what to feel..how to react..she's really pissed off huh..dunno whether it's cos i din call her back when i'm supposed to..dunno whether she's talking about me..felt quite upset about what she said about rj pple..though happy to know that she's liking ac so much..i agree that e rj pple bitch n gossips veh often..when this girl is so close to this guy..tails will start wagging but somehow i gotta say this may be a form of destress n perhaps relaxation from work..get it? like how girls engage in eye-candy-watching..haha juz to help us forget about the hectic school work for once n let our brains rest for a little while before coming back to reality n bother about what is important..that is school work..and not gossips n eye candies..

dear betty..in rj friendships are really that simple too..no one gives gifts n postcards to get a friend..no one suck up to chio bus or hunks..at least not in my batch..not the majorities..gifts n postcards to win a heart..hah betty..rgs perhaps a little..in rj no one has the time to do these stuff animore..trust me man..in rj..i realise i smile n say hi to more pple than in rgs..esp pple whom i dun usually acknowledge in rgs (meaning dun smile at)..yes a smile..that simple..n yu know that person knows yu n is interested in making friends with yu..n soon after yu realise yu'll be saying hi to each other..sucking up to chio bus?? yu'll realise that pple who have a lot of frens are not the best looking in the batch..but the friendliest n nicest pple..pple like baorong..pamela..audrey..the council pple..juz cos they're outgoing..dun discriminate..n juz make all sort of frens..hunks..hmm there're no hunks in rj..more popular guys ya..but no girls are not really that bothered with them..

"AC taught me that being yourself is the best poilcy. EVeryone seems so accepting of everyone else.. there's no real dividing factor that separates pple or wadsoever.." --betty
is that really true..sure no one bitches behind yu..i really dun believe..i'm sorry..what bout those girls n guys whom yu pointed out at kallang supporting squash..yu're good frens with them now? she's good frens n well-accepted by everyone..or pple actually bitches behind her..in rj there's no real diving factor that seperates pple too..everyone doesn't SEems so accepting of everyone else..everyone simply accepts n make frens with pple who crosses their paths..

betty..about the specs thingy..i do wear my specs to sch..once..mich too..n pple like weiqing..denise..sarah n others wear specs to sch quite freely..maybe certain pple do care about their looks so blardi much that they made such a comment to yu..maybe some pple think it's a necessity to look good in sch cos of guys n other factors..but that's only certain superficial minority..i admit there're such pple in rj..but for the others..we prefer to be ourselves..n we want pple to accept us for who we are..not who we are acting as..
rj pple do grow up mentally..being less superficial n sensitive..learning to treasure people around us more..n helping one another more (mental support n encouragement n stuff)..this is the case in my class..we're not simply studious pple..we do care about life..friends..n we know what we want in life..also that we have to work for it..hence knowing our priorities.. when to play..when to study..this is a little out of point..but juz wanna mention it.

dear betty..hope yu have cooled down..sorry if i'm one of the reasons yu were so angry with the rj pple..
gotta go now..this weekend gonna be hectic..1st draft for written report due next week..tml's pw meeting gonna be real fun..

Internet is working again thanks to my smart sis..who bothers abt the com..haha aniwae juz got back from training..had dinner..n here i am..stinking up my room..blogging..my day got much better after the learning journey to the parliment..firstly parliment was okay..parliment house was beautiful n cool..yea saw the ministers..goh cheok tong n other familiar ones..sat in the gallery n gotta bow at the speaker upon entering n leaving..quite cool to see it live cos yu can see the heck-care faces of the other MPs who are not paying attention..actually i only saw one..the rest were all sitting up listening to the speakers..topic was on employment..some bill..second reading..talking abt the employment of Singa[oreans as compared to foreigners..ratio not right..less jobs n all tt stuff..yea only watched for abt 40 mins n there was debrief..not tt bad..

rushed back to sch for training after tt..sorry if i screwed up as a captain..aniwae what mich n i n david do..the members dun really know wad..but i know a major problem is miscommunication..i'm sorry..i'm change n improve k..i'm trying.. aniwae training today was damn shiok..Nor took david n me..boasts, volley and drives drills..david must be laughing at how sucky i am..but wadeva..after he left it was as if i had personal training..heh so funky..n i put in a lot of effort to get the shots right n forceful..so i felt good though i wasn't good at squash..after tt was PT..not tt bad la..maybe about 6 x 20 sprints..i din run at max speed..so not tt tiring..although we were panting like shit..then usual push ups and sit ups..i really suck at push ups..muz practise man..somehow my arms are so weak..crap..but they are quite big lo!! crap nvm..a little flabby on the underside..maybe that's why..heh after training i felt so good though tired..shirt was totally soaked..waists aching n had blisters on my palm..but i felt really worked out n fit n finally can feel my abs!! haha of cos now after dinner it's gone..

someone's depressed now..i pray for his happiness..n this is to him..hey cheer up..no matter how terrible n sucky the situation is now..i'm sure yu'll find ways to make life better and enjoyable for yourself..i'm sorry i couldn't meet yu today..i'm damn stupid..no point regretting now..sorry i couldn't be there for yu..but still..look on the brighter side of life alrite..yu know yu've yur good frens going through the same shit as yu..so it's not tt bad afterall..smile dear :)
n to pam and baorong..n myself..live life to the fullest..though we're like bumble bees who work non-stop..n also worry non-stop about all sorta stuff..from pw to cip to sch work to cca to tests..remember yu have frens with yu going through the same shit..so cheer up n smile~!!! muakz~! n remember..dun mistreat yurself..pamper yurself with treats n sufficient rests..k pam..
sheesh..gotta go practise piano now..then got bio tutorial n maths vectors to finish..somehow i know i'm not disciplined enough to complete them all tonight..

heyhey blog..my com was screwed yesterday n refused to let me access the internet..so here i am using the sch's com complaining to yu..haiz juz saw jamie's blog with all my stupid photos inside..those that i look exceptionally bad with my blardi bulging eyebags n ok i simply look crap n she looks damn good..wadeva i admit i'm ugly. fullstop. supposed to do project work but here i am slacking again..juz ahd chinese cheng2 yu3 test..haha i know i din study so i'm not feeling shit about flunking the test..juz feeling shit that i din mug for it..oh well..

oh no. i'm lost for words now..i no longer know what else to say to yu..munching on my bread in the com lab now illegally..thinking what else to say..realising how much undone work i have..how slack i've been..n how shit i looked.. haha sorry i'm really vain n care about material stuff n looks n clothes n..i'm a girl wad..it's okay lo..sorry tian..i'm forever picking on myself..used to be my hair..but i've decided not to cut it cos i've no money n i'm sian of short hair..next it's my tummy..forget it i'm still eating my fav ice cream n chocolate n pizza..it wun ever disappear..then now my face..i'm really sick of looking bad..my stupid eyes..really so tempted to go for plastic surgery shit..but i know it's crazy..haiz stupid eye bags..even jega commented..hey not as if i sleep veh little..compared to others i sleep veh early already..they dun have eye bags..then y do i?? they sux man..

k i'm sounding like a bimbo now..stop it..going for learnin journey soon..damn gotta miss chem lecture..this topic's damn important n heavy..die die..suddenly feel so tired..got training later..oh well..shit i'm feeling damn inversed now..carn take this anymore..

lets see..what i have yet to blog..
yesterday..a veh fun n successful n psyched up shopping day with tian
day before yesterday..national day parade..man i have so much to say abt that day..
but no..no time for blogs..it's pw time..damn it i've been fixing e photos e whole of tonight..n of cos..only starting work now..n never even practise piano..shit i'm so dead..
aniwae today's an inverse day in sch..back home..it became a slacking day..now..everything's screwed..i feel screwed..oh well..stop it n get down to work..

An extract from jian wei's --
"Why does JC life seem to suck?"
Cliques.
Relationships.
School ending late.
People being shallow.
Loss of old friends.
Lessons being boring.
Many teachers are boring.
The RJC campus sucks.
Overload of work.
Interdiscipliary Project Work.
Common Test results.
Waking up so fucking early.
They guailanned 111 route.
School's damn far.
Holidays few and far between.
Teacher is evil.
Teacher is explosive.
Softball training wth happened.
I feel to slack to listen is lectures.
Maybe coz they're so boring.
I don't make an effort.
I don't try to make it better.
I don't bother about stuff.
Shallow people.
Unthinking, unthoughtful.
Biased. Common enemies.
Unhealthy cheapthrills.

realise how true when i was reading it..but for me..
"Why does JC life seem to suck?"
Cliques.
Relationships.
School ending late.
People being shallow.
Loss of old friends.
The RJC campus sucks..A LITTLE actually..toliets so far away..erm..i like the com lab..it's alright la..at least we have air-con lecture halls?? hmm..gotta learn to be contented..
Overload of work. - so totally agreed
Interdiscipliary Project Work. --but of course..it's driving me nuts..
Common Test results. -- really reflects how stupid I are..mugged so blardi hard n do so much for chem still a big fat O..****
Waking up so fucking early. --yea..though it's the same for sec sch too..still..sometimes i really hate to get out of bed..
School's rather far. -- jian wei's house furthur frm sch..so i'm quite lucky i guess..
Holidays few and far between.
Lectures boring.
I put in a lot of effort to stay up n listen.
Grades doesn't get better.
ok..Grades doesn't reflect accurately on how much i've put in for exams..
I feel cheated.

oh well..nvm..aniwae happy birthday Singapore..ask me do i love yu..not much..sometimes i really wanna get out of this place..
going for national day parade later with two interesting pple..haha my nightmare..okok no no..thanks for going with me..

oh no i'm a loner man..no friends no life..hmm today i actually din think of going out..instead wanted to mug in sch or at macs..in e end went for tuition..later i've decided to shop for a little while at orchard..well..yes alone again..saw a lot of other rj pple..mostly girls..in big groups..in pairs..only me..walking alone down orchard..pathetic i know..yes yes now yu know how pathetic jessica is..everyone has pple to go out with except me..maybe i should juz stick to my books eh..be a real mugger..with no life n entertainment..
saw baorong frm e bus..with two other classmates..actually i could have simply agreed to go out with her when we're talking at the canteen today..perhaps me being a loner is due to my inability to grab chances..yea betty scolded me for not treasuring her..for not asking her along when shopping..but how would i know if she's free..hmm k partly my problem there..nvm i shall always ask her out now..

i hate the way i speak..hate my lousy singlish with all the los and mehs and lehs..i wanna speak like americans..british pple..they just sound veh intelligent n sophisticated..with elegance and attitude..saw chin siang's austrilia photos today..2 albums..beautiful place..castle-like colllege..large green field..but what i really love are mountains..n old buildings..really look like those in harry potter..so beautiful and there's like a lot of history behind them..real cool..oh..n beaches..during sunset..yu should see those photos..golden orange sky..captivating..
this year's bday wish..is to go australia..but i know the chances of my wish come true..20%..oh well..no harm wishing..

sometimes i really feel like killing myself man..wad e hell!!! i'm so idiotic..goshhh!!!!!!!! haiz doing pw again..n again n again..wonder what time i'll sleep tonight..
sometimes i wish we're in the same sch..so that yu'll know what i'm going through now..n i'll know how yu feel too..then maybe yu wun keep saying i'm doing too much or wad..n i'm quite tired of telling yu i know what i have to do and the fact is i have SO much to do..i'm not being stupid..i'm doing what's good for me..
hau wan's mugging for the upcoming lecture tests already..when am i starting? i wonder..
really suffering..jc life sux..bye

busy busy busy..no time to blog even..yea no one has been blogging aniwae..shucks..i dun even have time to drink water..dad scolded me for dehydrating myself..for not taking care of myself..saying i look like a zombie..ah wadeva..hmm..sarah's in love..n she's looking better n better everyday..prettier..me leh..in love for so long..got pretty n now is the time to turn ugly huh? hmmmmmm..
so much stuff to do for pw..the long meetings totally drain out my brain juices..super taxing..n i'm getting used to doing work in sch canteen despite the food n noise n ppl walking n slacking arnd..
changshuang came over to rj today..from canada..on a holiday break form uni..gosh she still looks good..nice clothes still..n still the same old her..not corrupted or polluted by the western culture..put on a little maybe..n jamie says she has got an accent!! i din realise that..aniwae it was nice to see her again..i got really excited n ran out of lecture hall to give her a hug..
okay..everyone's really busy with catching up on tutorials n pw..wanna thank my pw group for consistently working tog..n motivating n calming each other down during meetings..heh..n yes..to my dearest guy..thanks so much for accomodating me..thanks for coming late in the evening to pick me up n accompaning me home..heh that helps to destress a lot noe..
okay..back to maths 3D tutorial..yeshhh i'm only at 3D..pple are all doing vector tutorials already..jia you jess..sighhhh..

no time no time..life's a game man..n i gotta keep practising piano..mugging..do filing..do pw..n go shopping..haha so that i wun lose out in this game..but seriously..there's much more to life besides the Game..really..there's still love..friends..mugging is not everything..As is not everything..
congrats jen..pam..med fac for their reality play..emelia..is that how it's spelt? anywae..so totally bimbo~!!wahh..even better than jamie n dawn..haha n the arts pple..damn good acting that brought me laughing so hard..pple beside me must be thinking i'm crazy..but veh entertaining..i haven laughed so hard for ages..haha wei ming..too muscular..tt bimbo..too low intelligence..tt preacher..haha simply "auntie" and farney..tt damn muscular girl..she can act man~!! n she's damn good la..n tt guy in black..haha nvm..

aniwae e medicine play really reflects on rj life huh..but that it's much more pple who are involved in this game..n personally..i hate this game..what's yur aim in winning this game? what do yu want to get out of it? scholarships? good job..good future..maybe..but this game relly reflects on how false and untruthful pple in rj are..slacking..ya rite..all mugging secretly at home..all part of the strategy..oh well..seriously..i'm veh tired of this game..

my turn to stop slacking now n go back to my piano..happy weekend pple~*

juz got home..his parents drove me home again despite me insisting tt i can take a cab safely home myself..sheesh so embarassing to keep troubling them..aniwae..today was the birthday of a guy..
an understanding..sincere..truthful and trustworthy guy..mature..loving..cute..n simply wonderful..happy birthday dear..
i know i've said billions of "sorry"s to yu today..but i still gotta say them..sorry for your belated gift..sorry for the lack for surprise..sorry for the lack of energy and excitment and enthusiasm in me..sorry it has to be a thursday..after that long 5.30 day..n draining training session..sorry if i looked tired..sorry i couldn't make yu even happier..
He kept telling me i looked veh good today..countless times..though my hair's screwed (din use styling cream) n eyes puffy or wadeva not..tt silly guy is so easily satisfied..such insignificant beauty of mine juz mesmerised him..totally..
sighh..i love him so much..

yea my little burnt..brown cheesecake without a base..it actually touched him..he juz kept smiling n saying thanks..he din care abt how bad it looked or tasted.at least he din show it in front of me..thanks dear..thanks for consoling me..thanks for appreciating my effort to do sth personally to make yu happy..

Short nite past real quickly..sad but yea..reality..we both were really tired..sleeping on the car..din talk much on the way home..quietened down to rest our senses..but thanks for having me in your arms..
short goodnite kiss in the lift..on this special day..i wish for his happiness..his safety..his smile..
juz before retreating to bed..wanna thank all those who made this day beautiful for him..yy..jamie mich..for e encouragement n ideas..all the SBS bus drivers who drove us to our destinations..emm..his family..my family..oh..n Mango..for manufacturing those clothes that make me look good..
happy sweet 19 tian~*