Innerpeace

i'm feeling drained..suddenly..dunno why..played piano for abt half hours n a devil in my small head told me to stop..really dun wan to but i din have motivation to continue..i'm upset with myself..thought it'll be a happy nite again..

cos today was a new episode in my life..due to 2 happenings..
first time i spoke to him..was only expecting to hear his first few lines like end of the year or next yr..i mean din expect to talk to him so soon..fine it wasn't talk..juz greetings..still..cos he's forever looking dao n cool..n me forever keeping quiet..sorry i'm not e typical rj ger who approaches guys n say hi..=p juz not tt thick-skinned n flirty? nvm..anywae i was really worried i hurt him or sth..i din think guys were tt sensitive..but remembered he's a sensitive new age guy man..hmm aniwae i was sincere in my apologies lo..scared he's pissed n unhappy or wad..but in e end he's juz making fun of me ah..

i got BOB..physics was really unexpected..really really..never got such a pleasant surprise for so so long..ever since primary sch..when i got A* for english..aniwae i din know how to react..lost n couldn't be too happy cos others din do well..nearly cried cos of pam n sarah..tensions were high today during practical..oh amamda n sarah n i are called charlie's angels in our class..haha..aniwae i know i've really worked hard for this surprise..i exhausted every dynamics, ideal gases, circular motion, forces and linear mom...questions Dr Chan gave since april..for the 280 i pay every mth..i juz had to do well for physics..i know tt's daylight robbery but mum i'm sorry yur daughter is not as smart as jw or baorong..baorong n siewling are amazing..i dunno how to say..but their standard is far beyong my reach..how come i'm not as smart as them? why do i need tuition from a money-sucking smart successful physics tutor..br laughed when i told her i expected an E for physics n say of cos not la..but why not..i can get an O for chem..y not another O..see..that's how different our standards are..B is not good to Tse yang n Br..haiz..

i wun take chem tuition..i dun believe i carn get a C for promos..for doing tutorials on time..for listening during lectures..for practising so many past year questions..for the interest in the subject n my sheer hard work..haiz..O to C is quite a far jump..nvm i'll practise jumping more..

i'm really tired..like totally drained..but it;'s only 10.40..sorry tian..i had been talking to yu for the past few nites sounding like a corpse or zombie..no life at all in my voice..nothing much to say..n made yu worried..sorry..but thanks for understanding..thanks a lot for always being there..remember to catch me if i collaspe one day k..sheesh yu wun be in sch..

jamie..congrats..yur new episode in life too..finally yu're doing sth yu really wanted to do n sth yu like so much..yur soul sister here is envious..jealous..sorry but good for yu..everyone likes yu..yu made a lot of good frens n dancing away under the moonlight almost every day..glad yu're happy..

now when will i be happy..