Innerpeace

Shivering in Central Library


There's perhaps 6 more weeks to exams. There're more and more people in the library. But somehow I'm not the least bit motivated to study, I have no idea why. I'm lost for Maths, way behind the lecturer (who teaches at the speed of light and does not cover a lot of things in the textbook) for Physics and lost in the world of forces and free body diagrams for Statics..basically I'm just struggling to keep up. When, then, will I get started on revision? Will I commit the same mistake of late revision like I did last semester which caused my downfall? I just realised how lousy I am..like totally lousy like shit. I used to think that it's hard to get a cap of 4.5 in Engineering because everyone's freaking hardworking and smart and it's a foreign talent heaven here. But nope..that is all bullshit, excuses that I create for myself time and time again to make myself feel better. I'm such a lousy piece of shit, finally I have smacked myself in the head and stop coming up with excuses to explain my failure. I just have to admit that I did not study enough and not make the same mistake again. Everyone else can easily get a cap of 4.0 and above so I just have to stop escaping reality and focus on my work. But damn it there's really no motivation for me to bury my head in my books..arghhhh n somehow whenever I start studying, I feel like sleeping and I'll be fighting with my eye muscles to keep my eyes open. Come on..I really need to buck up.