Innerpeace

hi..just visited all my girlfriends' blog and realise i'm the lousiest among them. Huiping, vanessa, baoxin, baorong..no one complains like i do. They reflect on their lifes and they find means to achieve happiness. What the hell am i doing then? why is baoxin and huiping scared that people would judge them from their blogs? when i was reading the blogs i knew that those are my good friends. Baoxin is not crazy and heck-care all the time. Some part of her does care a lot..and that part is not so crazy n wild. Huiping's blog perhaps really allowed me to learn a lot about my old friend, a friend whom i did not really understand very well, and now a friend who is so mature and understanding and religious. really a great change for one and a half years.
All of us are changing. Maturing, looking older and more tired (maybe except for jamie) haha and it's so clear, although all of us are happily laughing at the silly things baoxin and ness told us, that there's a hidden side of us, where we all face our troubles and stress, and where we all learn the hard way of life. And often, almost never, do we reveal that side of ours. Only on blogs do yu see the other sides of people.
 
oh well, one day i should consult huiping about religion. Perhaps that will help me see life in another light. i'm like Robert Langdon in Angels and Demons.. i want to believe in god. meaning i don't. very hard la huh..many reasons. hmm.
Was very troubled when i left school. Same old issues haunting me again. This has been the hardest month for me. Really unexpected things happen to me. There are good times and bad times of cause. I don't know why only the bad things continue to linger in my head.
Haha, today i felt extreme stupidity. Lost. N i ask myself what did i do wrong, what did others do that i did not. but nvm, i've gotten over it now and i shall get on with life. although i haven't found an answer.
 
it's funny how baoxin talks about her high-flying friends..n ness is so correct about taking things with a pinch of salt and quit looking for flaws in all the wrong places. haha when girls come together that's what happens..advice time. n ness always has the best advice. imperfection is sexy. One can only feel as pretty as one can be. Ness should pen a book of advices. i'll buy it haha. ok later i shall go to the mirror and i would see a very pretty girl smiling back at me. hmm then if i'm already pretty what's the use of plucking my eyebrows, treating my pimples? haha then i'll start to look bad. shit i have no idea what i'm talking about.
 
today i told myself i look good. i'm not putting on weight. and i have superb grades.