Innerpeace

Madness

University is pure madness and it is sucking every ounce/millilitres/oh ya..joule of energy that is left in this small but full of lipids body of mine. I hate being tired..I hate the way my eyes feel every single day. Eyelids are getting heavier and I think I don't open my eyes as wide as before now..I think it looks so dull now (where is the sparkle!!!) and like sometimes it turns red and by late afternoon it'll start hurting. Even worse, I hate the fact that my eyesight is deteriorating. With contact lenses, bus numbers at a distant are blurry now (but not before) and I can't watch tv with my glasses now because the image will be unclear. The saddess thing is..I think Quidam last night could have been sharper and clearer. It was fantastic though. I had a wonderful time. And as usual, at the end of the performance, we simply couldn't stop clapping for the performers..


Anyway I'm just getting crazy waching Electrical Engineering webcast now..can you just imagine..NOR NAND OR AND gates..goodness why the hell am i learning those things again. I was just telling myself..I think i'll go crazy by the end of year 1. Look at semester 1..I'm still figuring what the hell is happening and there you go..one more month and the final exam papers will be thrown to us and we're supposed to do well for it?? Haiya seriously I don't think I can take it anymore I should just go crazy now and then my parents can throw me into the hospital. But Tian will lose a wonderful and precious girlfriend (HAHA)..ok tt's not good..I must consider his feelings..


THEN WHO WILL THINK OF MINE?~!!!! I wanna collaspe and faint like michelle and celene..I wonder how it feels..Sometimes I just need somebody who can fully understand what I'm going through now..why I'll feel sad if I don't do at least one hour of shopping on my precious Saturdays..and why the workload in engineering is never-ending and it is pure exhaustion to rush to complete your tutorials because the next minute you know it..there are 3 other tutorials waiting for you. It'll never stop..


I didn't get to shop this weekend..though I treated myself to an express pedicure to cover up my ugly black toe at Holland V. I recommend lush nails because the girls there are nice..it's a nice little pink and red nail salon and even for express services, they use OPI nail polishes..think it's worth the money. Waiting to do back for a manicure one day. Oh ya my weekend..lazed around a little with Tian on the Saturday afternoon before heading down to PS to catch The 40 year old Virgin with mich, roy and yanli. Sick show with lots of boobs flashing on the screen..(I dislike such shows) but story is ok and the ending is a nice and expected one. You should watch it if you don't mind boobs and wanna have a good laugh. I'm sure Tian did. Had a quick dinner at Cartel after the show and Tian and I rushed down to Bugis for Quidam. Think Quidam is slightly more abstract than Allegria cos I didn't understand the role of the mother, little girl and father and random figures strolling at the background but at the end I overheard that it is supposed to depict the child's fantasy world or something. Anyway I think there is also less circus-like performance than Allegria but Quidam had segments which involved the audience and the way the clown made fun of the people was hilarious. Once again, the performers never fail to amaze me with their talents and the near-flawless performance was still a superb one which I totally enjoyed. Go catch it to see how good it is..with my lousy english I can never do a good job describing my awesome experience..NUS students please use your 20% discount which they happily gave only after we bought the tickets. Tian and I got very good seats this year..I remembered sitting all the way at the second last row for Allegria.

Shit why the hell did I even start blogging..I think I just wasted half an hour of precious time..


I want to be like William..who can allocate one hour everyday to read books..I want to start reading the newspapers again..I want to be like michelle who has started running..I want to be like everyone else except myself..(Tian must be thinking..you always say you want to do this and that..why don't you actually move your butt and get down to doing something??!!!!)..I'm going crazy..I have turned into 2 persons..one complaining and the other scolding the complaining one..haha I'm not talking sense..


I miss Tian so much sometimes I wish I can have lunch with him everyday. But the more I see him the more I want to see him. I bumped into Dr WS Law at PS on Saturday..it was the first time I see him out of KKH..out of his white long sleeve shirt and tie. He was going to catch a movie with his girlfriend..haha he has a girlfriend..and I was curious about who his girlfriend is. Is she a doctor too like most other male doctors who have female doctor girlfriends? Do engineers and doctors match? It's a weird combo to me..engineers are too boring and PHYSICal for doctors who are BIOnised and rather free. ok what the hell am I talking about.


I'm just staring at your photo now and thinking about how carefree and happy our lives were for the past 5 years..I just wanna tell you that I love you so much and sometimes I hope that I have more time for you..to hold me longer..to see me longer and just spend more time together without thinking about my studies and yours..and without me having to excuse myself because I am so so tired..


And I miss the girls too..when was the last time we had a nice long meal together at some restaurant..We should go for sakae sushi buffet one day..or nydc since it's nearer to school..but when would that be? most probably after end of november huh.. I never go out on weekdays after school..there is always a stronger calling (or rather NEED) to do work in school. One fine day when I'm close to collasping and pulling every strand of my hair out..I shall drag the girls to pig out at Sakae..


Ok..right now I am so dead because I am not going to complete the work which I AM supposed to finish by tonight..



Quidam 2005