NUS

Ok I know I'm in the middle of writing my thesis and getting very high at 2am in the morning but I have to stop and blog about this. I just realised today's electrophysio tutorial was my very LAST class in my entire NUS life as an undergrad. 4 whole years just flew past like that and I didn't even realise I'm never ever able to go for lectures or tutorials in NUS anymore. Omg I thnk that's something that we should be very sad about. I hate the way I learn to cherish things only when they're gone. So after 13 May, my entire undergrad NUS life will officially come to an end and I know after that I'll be reminiscing a whole lot.

Shit I'm really feeling damn sad now. This could very well be the very last moments of my life as a student and somehow I know being a student is forever a million times better than being a working adult. I really hope in the future, I'm not working just for the salary, but working to learn, working to discover new things, and just working to contribute to a greater cause. Please just stop the clock right now. I didn't turn out the way I wanted to be in JC, but really the past 4 years could have been the most impactful and unforgettable time of my life. I could never have gotten all that if I were at another place, another place that I thought would be the best for me.

It started off with a senior who couldn't stop flirting with me and somehow dragged me into engin orientation camp. I got to know my first group of friends in NUS engin and honestly, I still remembered all the fun we had very clearly in fact. Then came the engineering lectures, they weren't too bad at first, I was actually doing ok, until something called Signals, or Fluid Mechanics, and Biothermodynamics came into my life and I became totally lost for the first time. And then I was no longer 2nd upper. Like I'm banished to hell or sth. The number 4 never showed anymore up to now.

Honestly, I'm really not a social butterfly and I think that's the main reason I know so few people in my very small class of 70 odd. 70 only and I still don't know who they are. haha Quite sad right. It's like Cyrus and Li Quan would be mentioning names over lunch and I would not be able to put a face to it. Haiz. So Cyrus, I know you'll be reading this, I'm envious that you guys know everyone and have so many contacts all around. I definitely would like to know more pple but I'm shy!! honestly! So anyway I got to know my 2nd group of friends, rather late into year 2 or was it early year 3. This time a bioengin group, who liked to sit together at the right side of LT 7A, while I'm the one who's forever running in late and would just settle my butt on the first empty seat that I find. (Perhaps another reason I don't know many people.) Well you guys know who you are, including all my other bioengin friends whom I may not always be hanging out with, let's never be out of touch although we may be living entirely different lives in the future ok??

Then there was dance, and I don't even know where to begin. Ok after 4 years I'm still a lousy dancer and I ought to be ashamed, but I honestly learnt so much from so many talented people whom I've met through Blast, but not only are they talented, they are so nice and willingly to teach...ok Blast was really all fun even when we were so stressed and exhausted, and freaking hot and smelly after dance prac at AS7 at 11/12am (they freaking switched off the air con!) I enjoyed moving to the music, I enjoyed the after-concert feeling, the pre-concert feelings could be nerve-wrecking but it's all part of the process, I enjoyed performing for my family and friends although I'm still embarrassed cos I'm no good, I loved bonding with different groups of dancers when we do different items for various concerts...I'm not even writing in proper sentences anymore but all in all, I enjoyed every moment in Blast. Squash had definitely became 2nd in my CCA life cos I changed my priorities but I played for the uni cos I still enjoy the game and I got to see my dearest girlfriends at trainings.

What next...there was camping at libraries during reading week, there were semesters when I was at Central lib and some when I was stuck at Science's level 6. Jordan was my mugging buddy for a long while, Mich joined when we were at Science, sometimes Tian comes to accompany me too. Erm..I also got to go on my first yatch which was so cool with yummy Il Lido food thanks to u know who...haha, and then I went crazy and decided to take off for 5 months, leaving my family and Tian behind. Don't know if you all know this, but I was crying non-stop when I was alone at the airport and then on the plane with Cyrus and Jordan beside me. I was crying cos I was regretting it all at that moment. Thought I was stupid, thought I was wasting a hell lot of my mum's money, and don't know how I'm going to survive without Tian around...ok, SEP turned out so damn awesome. I got to know another lovely group of people on SEP, the guys really took care of the girls, without them I would not have gotten my lovely little spoilt purple bicycle, without which I would probably die walking from home to uni and back everyday. And they took care of meals too, helped me with module mapping, escorted girls home at night, took me back to the hostel in Munich when I got drunk for the first time in my life...I know we don't get to speak very much now but I'll never forget you all and all the things that we did together in that foreign land. I would never have known a place called Eindhoven if not for SEP, cos I obviously don't follow the Champions League. And then I got to know this amazing woman, who is so kind and so funny, I happen to be crazy over every single dish she cooks (I must be half-Italian in my previous life), she's so talented at drawing, she's very filial too...I would say she's a role model. She brought me back to her hometown where I effortlessly gained more than 2kg in a week, I finally got to see the Sistine Chapel where she narrated the story so passionately to us, and it's been a year but I still find myself missing Sonia now and then.

Haha. What's left now is FYP. I would say it has definitely been an enriching experience. I definitely worked hard and pushed myself to the limit, I abandoned Tian at home and stayed in lab way over midnight. I stopped doing tutorials and catching up on lectures cos there's just no time, I have a very helpful mentor without whom I think my FYP is a gone case, my supervisor has been kind on me and hopefully at the end shower me with the A- which I'm working so hard for. Research is definitely challenging and you would never know what it involves until you're actually doing it. I actually think the medical students should have such an exposure to research too but the govt is too practical sometimes.

Primary school was childish fun, of backstreet boys and spice girls, behaving as if we owned the school as prefects from the top class, and competing to complete assessment books (read: Tan Poh Yong); secondary school was still childish, less competitive (so what if I'm only taking 8 subjects) and the fun came from pretending to be grown up (read: a boyfriend at sec 2?? what was I thinking...and that was the time Tian hadn't started shaving...can u just imagine...HAHAHAHAH) and squash was a huge part of my life; JC was competing with my perfectionist self and a little more mature, with captainship n all, trying to make my mark in a school that was flooded with outstanding people, simply overachievers up till now; and finally, NUS.

Looking back, I'm very happy with the life I've led so far. Many unforgettable experiences, I've gone through the ups and downs of life, I've known all the nice people that I'd have liked to know, I have that guy in my life, I have the coolest phone ever, I've visited so many gorgeous places, I think I made my parents proud, so ya, although I'm not done with my FYP thesis, I'm smiling tonight, cos I know I've lived well and I've done well.

Sounds like I'm ready to die. haha. But I'm not cos I'm greedy. =p Think I just wrote the longest post of the decade.