Innerpeace

Drained

I'm so tired. Really very very tired.

My mum's PMSing now, setting some rules for the house, saying the door will be locked at 12 midnight and whoever comes home after midnight can jolly well sleep at the void deck. Haiz that's mainly targetting at my problem-dad and maybe me, and sigh, it's definitely not good for me. But I'm so tired and I cannot really be bothered with it right now. I'm reaching home before midnight these few days anyway because I'm so tired after dance practice.

There's practice every single day this week. At least I have Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays off for the past few weeks but not this week. Everyone's getting kanchong. I have practice even on National Day and Saturday and Sunday, I haven't told Tian about Sat and Sun's practice but he's going to complain. Sigh. I don't really have a choice dear. So sorry. Because of dance, we can't even go out properly though it's the holidays. And yes, the holidays are ending. Oh dear.

This week on Tuesday, Friday and Saturday nights, there will be fireworks display at Marina Bay by different countries. I thought I could watch it with Tian on Saturday night but I cannot anymore. I can't make it on all the other nights too.

My only consolation is that I'm finally doing something that I enjoy very much. I've been wanting to dance for so many years and now I finally got a chance to learn, thanks to Blast. Because I'm not zai like my dance idols in Blast, I cannot afford to miss practices. And I do want to practise very hard so that I can put up a good show for Tian and my dear friends who are going down for the concert.

I've been having Subway for dinner almost everyday. Tian's mum asked me one night how come I kept eating sandwiches from Subway. Even this guy working at Subway recognises me and asked me how come I was earlier today. Had dance practice from 5pm to 10pm in school so I had to have an early dinner. Or else I would usually visit Subway when the 6pm-8pm practises end. And just the other day, he told me I don't need to show him my matric card because he had seen it before. Today, the girl at the cashier recognised me from last night when she was the one preparing my sandwich. She told me today that I need not show her my matric card haha. Subway should have a loyalty card for me to get more discounts. =p

This is basically my life now - aka not much of a life. Supposed to get started on studies because my Signals lecturer sent us a super long email telling us to read the textbook first like a storybook, but I can't get past 5 pages every night. My interest level is like zero.

Jamie, are you home yet? Give me an SMS k..you're being missed by the very tired me. And I desperately need your help on a lot of things, really hope you can spare some time to help me. Not only do I have to dance, I have to spend money on costumes, and I'm supposed to think of what to do to my hair. Helpppp..

See, even Jamie is coming back. It all means one month has passed, and our 3 whole months of holidays will officially be over this weekend. It was indeed very enjoyable and well-spent while it lasted, no regrets except for the part where I ought to have earned more money from temp jobs, and there were moments when I missed studying and can't wait for the new semester to start, but right now, I'm screaming "I want more holidays!".

I'm trying to convince myself that this holiday I have spent enough time with Tian but I don't really feel that way. Some nights I really feel like hugging him and not let him go when he sends me home. And then the other voice in my head reminded me that I haven't even met up with 3G this holiday.

I should just go to sleep, now.