Innerpeace

let's not talk about sats..i dun think it's of any importance..i know my english carn make it..no matter how i try to memorise the meanings and spent long days with my dictionary..they just dun get into my head..somehow i think my brain is one fifth the size of tseyang's..or even smaller..sad case..

i was reading dawn's blog..we've got much less close ever since secondary school..i wonder what she thinks of me now..some freak who only cares about mugging maybe..i dunno..n since i dun talk to her much now..i only learn more about how she is through her blog..n i especially like entires that really reveal what she truely feels about her life..like the recent one about how she has little determination.. such entries make me learn more about her and at the same time made me reflect about myself..my life..

dawn does not have determination to give up stuff to concerntrate on her priorities..me? i do not have the determination to pursue what i really like..using excuses like "i dun have time", "i dun have the talent"..sigh..only now i realise how boring my life really is..i know studies are really important..that's why i never stop workign hard..but this results in my life only revolving aroung books, tian, orchard, piano, erm squash and the girls..yea.. i am totally deprived..always saying that i want and am going to pursue dance all over again..then i'll tell myself i dun have the time..wad shit is that..n like when i'm really fat like now..i tell myself i need to go running..i can never make myself step out of the house..yes i'm that lazy..i'm that useless..unlike tracy, sarah, jin yi..sigh

also, i've never REALLY been overseas before..what kind of life am i living man..there're so many beautiful things out there for me to see..italy..japan..gosh i know there're beautiful places yet cos of my parents i am deprived..it's so unfair..but on the other hand..maybe i never work had enough to make them give in to my pleas..sigh..but my parents..i give up on them..mum finds it very troublesome n mafan to go orchard..go overseas..haha dun even think about it..n theyt dun let me go overseas with frens..then go with who yu tell me..sometimes they should sit down n reflect on their actions..

i know i have to quit complaining..sorry